Deja Vu

It's all too familiar. We've been here before...

The kids hug his neck while their little voices break, his eyes close and he inhales as he pulls them in. They're a bundle of skinny little arms and legs all wrapped up in Daddy's bear hug.

The oldest wants to know every detail of WHY Daddy has to go...

The baby just knows she's sad, and keeps asking how she'll talk to him on her birthday.

Our middle guy is mad. A scowl etched into his young face... his blue eyes glimmer with welled tears. His best friend is leaving and he's not going to like it.

He releases each of them. Kisses them on the forhead and reminds them, "Daddy loves you".

Now its my turn.

I know in my head he'll be fine. I know in my heart that he loves me. I know in my soul I will see him again... I'm trying really hard to keep myself together. Trying everything to keep my tears from falling.

He pulls me in so I can hide my face in his chest. My shoulders rise and fall with my tears while he envelopes me in his strong embrace. I stop crying.

"you good?"... his voice is gruff.

"yeah, I'm ok. I'm good." he starts to pull away "No... no I'm not" and we repeat the same all over again until I am actually good. 

His big bear hands grasp my face and we kiss (1, 2, 3) its always 3. Three little kisses... I love you. Three little kisses... See you soon.

I hate what comes next.

He'll take a deep breath. He'll grab his gear.

"I love you guys. Be good for mom. Love you babe..."

"Love you too, come back to me."

Three little kisses...

"Always."

he'll turn on his heal and walk away.

It's not Deja Vu. It's Deployment.