We made it through day 1. Pretty well actually (I'll totally cry tonight, but its cool). I have to say this one feels different, and so far it's for pretty great reasons.
In the past the sitter arrives, my husband would quietly kiss the kids and say "see you soon" - they were little. They didn't know what deployment was they just knew "Daddy is at work". We'd pack his gear into the car and head off to the airport. The terminal would be filled with kids and family members. Melancholy filling the room. We'd sit. We'd wait. He'd leave. I'd sit in the empty car for a minute. Cry for a couple more. Then take a deep breath and get on with it.
I was alone.
Not this time.
Our neighbors next door are also a Navy family, about to PCS up to Ohio - they sent messages to make sure they got to say goodbye to Big Sexy before he left. He caught up with them briefly in person. As we walked out of the house yesterday with the big guy in his whites, our neighbors on the other side were pulling their boat for a day of fishing - they stopped right where they were jumped out to say goodbye. My sweet friend Lisa hugging my neck "I'm so sad for you"... it actually felt GOOD to have someone understand that it hurts to say goodbye - even if its only for few months. I guess misery does love company (or at least a little empathy).
Following the final departure our neighbors up the road hijacked my pouting plan, and hulled us over for some BBQ and a few drinks. It was nice to NOT wallow. I needed that. The kids did too. These friends a Coast Guard family, said they hadn't walked in our exact shoes, but doggone it we shop at the same store.
Today was filled with appointments, errands and some good company (Thanks Jamie). Things very quickly snap back to normal...
but... its the after bedtime quiet that gets to me. That empty space. The moments I look over to comment on Game of Thrones and my dog just stares in reply. Those are the moments you have a choice. Succumb to the sadness or reach over your shoulder and pat yourself on the back.
Another day is done. He's another day closer to home. I am not alone, and this time around I will not be too proud to ask for help.
Tomorrow I'll tell you all about our homecoming chain, care package plans and how we are going to kick the crap out of this deployment.
Tonight? I'll pout into my Pinot and follow that up with a pat on the back.
XOXO & Stuff,
Jinger
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