What Works for Me... Isn't Working

We hear it all the time "just do whatever works for you"... well... what workED for me was getting up, going to work, hitting the gym for 90 minutes while the boys were at home doing their homework/chores. K-baby and I would get back, I'd knock out dinner and if was time for showers and bed.

What works for me isn't working. 
1. No Job 
2. No Gym
3. No Friends
4. No Routine

If I'm being real with myself the last item on that list is the actual problem.  I thrive in a world of regulation and routine. I need order and boundaries. Being in a new place with the kids on spring break doesn't provide my "normal" my "happy place".

How does it go? "In the absence of order there is chaos" or something like that or whatever. Well,  I hate chaos. Right now I'm drowning in it. So I guess the truth of the matter isn't that what works for me isn't working, its that I'm not making it work. <---- whoa! See what I did there. Almost like taking responsibility for my own well being. Crazy. I know. Let me keep going who knows I might save myself some therapy co-pays when this is all over.

1. No Job
I could sit here and lament about how the Navy has completely destroyed my life by ripping us out of our home and moving us to Florida; on the flip side we're a Navy family there is no such thing as a "home" until you're Sailor is OUT of the Navy (yes I'm aware that some people are able to homestead however some are not most and most are not all so nah nah boo boo). Sorry, back to the job. I am currently unemployed. I am applying and interviewing. I've started to sell some of my creative work for income. At this point I really have done everything I can do. Time to let it go, and enjoy the "time off" even if I don't like the lack of control.

2. No Gym
BS. No really that is totally BS. Well kind of. No, it really is BS. Yes, we just moved here. Yes 2 out of 3 kids got hit with a stomach/head flu which crushed about 5 days of availability. Oh, and I'm pretty sure I passed a gallbladder baby on Monday. Yeah. It has been a rough couple of weeks, BUT there are two gyms within 10 miles of my house, I now live in Florida (aka walking/running are a no brainer), and no-one is stopping me from working out. Husband is on shore duty, and I just need to get moving. Anytime Fitness, here I come.

3. No Friends
Wrong. So so so very wrong. We no longer live in a world where you are bound by geography for relationships. My best friend walks through the door every day with a smile and a 'hey babe", my dear friend Jamie and I have made the most of FaceTime ((even maintaining our evening wine chats when appropriate - you should check her out she's a Traveling Vineyard Wine Guide - seriously so good)), sorry I got distracted by wine. I was feeling pretty lonely so I reached out to friends via FB message to request prayer. I receved so much more. Not only do I have friends I have VERY GOOD friends who remind me to be faithful. To trust that God has a plan for us, and that we as a family are strong, loving, and will grow even closer through this.  Understanding, camaraderie, and encouragement. I may not have made local connections yet, but it is simply time and opportunity. Relationships will come. For now I will focus on my family, my marriage and maintaining my long distance friendships so they can me LIFE LONG friendships.

4. No Routine
Here's the confession. I'm a pouter. When he deploys I pout. When we move I pout. Hell, I pout when the kids have a birthday 'cause they are growing up too fast (technically one year at a time and time is a measurable constant, so it isn't "too fast" I just don't like it).... anyway. I pout, usually in ranges from 5 minutes up to 3 days. Well, my pouting has resulted in a lack of action, planning and follow through, leading to a lack of routine, enhanced frustration and spiraling mood. Who's fault is that? The Navy? My Sailor? Nope... Mine. I knew this was coming. I knew where we were moving. I can GOOGLE with the best of them. I chose to wallow in self pity instead of executing a plan of action to integrate into our new community. Time to put a stop to that, and establish my routine. I need it.

 ~

So, there you have it. What's Working for Me - Isn't Working... because I am not doing any work. Today I will lay the foundation for a better tomorrow, and tomorrow will be a new day filled with promise and determination. For now? Time to hit the kids with more antibiotics, so they don't end up singing a death rattle.

XO XO & Stuff,

Jinger